


Behind the Scenes of Gold Rush

by ReggieJackson



Series: Lights, Camera, Cut!!! [1]
Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Comedy, Filming, Humor, Mild Language, Mistakes, bloopers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 00:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReggieJackson/pseuds/ReggieJackson
Summary: An installment of the "Lights, Camera, Cut!" series. When the Warners are on camera, they may make it look easy, But sometimes even the simplest of cartoon shorts can come out of the most chaotic situations. Warning: brief mature themes and language.





	1. Scratchy Beards, Prima Donnas, Prop Scarfing, and Ad-Libbing

**Author's Note:**

> This story was heavily inspired by an old Fanfic I read a while back called, "Theme Song Gone Wrong" by CrazyInSye on Fanfiction.net.  
> I know the story is dangerously teetering on fanfiction guidelines that bloopers are not allowed, but hey that's me being risky for ya. Rather than this story be just a simple slideshow of bloopers, this will center around the whole experience, the good takes, bad takes, double takes etc... It'll show that even the simplest of short's could end up being most complicated to put together. And what better way to do that than by using one of my personal favorite episodes. I may or may not do more of these in the future slightly depending on what you guys think about it. Looking at this thing now, my feelings are divided from " this was a cool idea" to "what was I thinking?!" So enjoy this glorious train wreck or this disastrous achievement. Also, I do not own Animaniacs. They belong to Warner Bros/Speilberg/ Reugger.

 

"Gold Rush"

Summer of 1993

Day 1:

The filming of Gold Rush was done in Auburn State Recreation Area, over 400 miles north of Warner Bros Studios. While the short was already written and directed by a small team at the studio, an on-set assistant director (who requested to remain anonymous) was put in charge for the actual filming in Auburn. He was heavily enforcing the idea of being as authentic to the 1840's gold rush as possible and being as close to the script as possible. He also planned to have this short finished in less than a week. The Warners, however, were less than pleased upon arrival. Not only were they worn out from their rough 5 hour bus ride over to the set, but they found out just after getting off the bus that they were going to be stuck out here until the short was completed, far from any source of advanced civilization; the city of Auburn in their eyes did not count.

"Come on, this will probably only take a day or two" Yakko comforted his grumpy siblings as they walked on set. Cameras were placed far apart from each other. Every possible location to set one up was used; behind trees, on top of cliffs, under rocks, and even on a few woodland animals. Crew members were busily setting up props for different scenes.

"I wish I brought more of those chips with me before we got out here" Wakko complained.

"I wish I brought more tanning lotion and makeup, anyone can tell these pale faces were not meant to be exposed to California heat!" Dot whined.

"Hey be more positive about this." the eldest sibling responded.

"Follow this guys example" The trio stopped next to their co-star "Claim Jumping Jake", grumpily leaning against the side of a steel trailer. He was one of the workers the Warner's befriended back on the studio.

"Hey, Jake ol' pal! How ya feeling?" Yakko called out. The man groaned as he wiped a bead of sweat from his head.

"How am I feeling?! I'm sweating like a hog in this heat, these old-timey clothes are riding up in uncomfortable places, and this beard I had to overgrow is getting itchy!" he responded irritably.

"I feel just peachy" he added before walking off.

After a brief pause, Yakko turned back to his siblings who did not look the least bit convinced.

"See he has the right idea. Oh, and look over there" Yakko pointed to a table filled with refreshments along with a cosmetics woman who was busy unloading her cargo from a nearby bus. The sight made both of his siblings brighten up immediately. Wakko's mouth started to water while Dot got on her knees.

"Our prayers have been answered!" she cheered dramatically.

"Alright everyone, get in place! We're about to start shooting." The sound of the director bellowing through a megaphone got their attention. Everyone moved out-of-the-way as the cameras started rolling. The Warner's sat back in a few chairs as they watched the first scene take place.

[Scene 1 Take 1]

The first shot was a slow panoramic view across the California countryside. In the shot included Sutter's Mill off to one side and herd of roaming buffalo on the other side. It actually turned out perfect… until the cowboys came in the shot.

" _Ohhh, hear the crickets and the froggies, get along you little doggies…_ " both sang. The first cowboy's voice was tone-deaf while the other one was cracking uncontrollably. Behind the camera, the Warner's cringed at bad it sounded. Oddly enough, the horses singing along were the best ones in the entire scene. But, it somehow managed to get worse.

" _I, love riding on the ranges, where nothing ever changes_ …" The 3rd cowboy came in screeching completely off-key. His singing was occasionally interrupted by the sound of squealing feedback from the microphone.

"Uh… doesn't this need a reshoot?" Yakko whispered.

"Don't worry, Paulsen, Harnell, and McKean will dub their voices in afterwards. These guys are just actors, not singers." the director responded. Yakko simply shrugged as he continued to witness the three-part cacophony.

Next up was a spinning aerial shot controlled by a small camera placed on the back of a bird that flew around the cowboys, giving a good view of the landscape around them.

 _" It's peaceful and pretty, But you can keep the city, just give me lots of land and fresh air_" All three of cowboys suddenly fainted, completely green-faced.

"Cut! What happened?" the director barked. The three cowboys lifted up an arm and pointed to the herd of grazing buffalo off the far side.

"That happened" All three of them weakly croaked. It took a few whiffs from the crew to fully realize what just occurred. All three of the Warners pinched their red noses.

"Oh that's disgusting!" exclaimed Wakko!

"God, who sliced the greens and fava beans, just the thing we needed to start this off," Yakko answered.

It's just like Wakko on chili night!" Dot spat disgustedly. The director nearly went green faced himself as he took off his cap fanning the smell.

"Whew, alright guys let's get those buffalo out of here!" he commanded breathlessly.

[Scene 1 Take 2]

" _It's peaceful and pretty, But you can keep the city, just give_ …" The aerial shot was repeated again. While cowboys didn't faint this time, the bird filming the scene had a delayed reaction to the buffalo incident and plummeted to the ground, ruining the whole thing.

"Cut!"

[Scene 1 Take 3]

 _"...But you can keep the city, just give me lots of land and fresh air_" This time, the current shot along with the rest of the scene went off without any more errors.

" _Don't want a lot of faces just wide open spaces, where nobody's rich but who cares_ " the three cowboys continued to "sing" as they turned their pockets inside out.

" _Oh hear the crickets and the froggies, get along you little doggies_ " One of the cowboys picked up a piece of gold near them.

 _Look I found a piece of gold_ " he sang, his tone-deaf voice completely exposed.

" _Yep he found a piece of gold_ " the others sang in response.

" _Yep, I found a piece of_ …"

"Gold!" The trio of cowboys exclaimed in unison just shortly before they dodged out-of-the-way of an oncoming stagecoach, but got run by another one. This was actually part of the script so there was no harm done.

"Cut! Great job guys! On to the next scene" the director said. The cowboys immediately got up and walked off. He turned to the Warners behind them.

"You tell Jake to get ready, he's up next."

"See? What did I tell ya? At the rate this is going this short will be done by sundown. Hate to sound cliché, but what could go wrong?" Yakko spoke cheerfully.

Meanwhile, the director was overlooking the set for the next scene.

"Okay, bring up those inflatable buildings" he commanded. All around the entire set, several buildings literally popped up from the ground. Unfortunately, several of them grew so big they exploded. The man facepalmed at this accident.

"Don't worry, we have some spare ones in the trailer." he sighed.

"On second thought, uh… maybe not" Wakko answered, imitating his brothers catchphrase.

"Hey, that's my bit!" Yakko replied.

"Well judging how this is turning out so far, you were going to say it sooner or later." Dot retorted.

"Guys go!" the director turned around in a frustrated tone. The Warners quickly zipped off without hesitation.

[Scene 2 Take 1]

This scene opened up with another panoramic shot of the entire countryside being littered with new buildings, giving an exaggerated visual on how fast the gold rush developed. The camera panned over to the right to show Jake picking away at the side of a hill.

"I've been pecking at this hill for two weeks and I ain't found nothing" Jake complained while scratching his beard.

"Cut! Good one, but try not to scratch your beard. It's distracting." the director answered from behind the camera.

"That's because it's itchy!" Jake replied, still scratching it.

"Tough, you agreed to get in character no matter what it takes. Now let's try it again"

[Scene 2 Take 2]

"I've been pecking at this hill for two weeks and I ain't found nothing." Jake tossed the pickaxe against the rock and a real gold nugget fell in his hands. He looked up with a large grin on his face. "Hey, my weekly bonus!"

"Cut! You wish, toss it." the director spat back. Jake tossed it aside with a dejected scowl.

[Scene 2 Take 3]

"…for two weeks and I ain't found nothing!" The next shot cut over to the other side of the hill where a pile of gold and pick axes were scattered on the ground, but no Warners. Nothing happened except awkward silence.

"Oh my god Warners you're on!" the director yelled out. Suddenly the chattering Warners appeared, running into the shot. Yakko sported a cowboy hat while his sister had on a brown buckskin outfit. Wakko had on his normal clothes.

"Sorry about that, I had to get a run out of my stocking" Dot apologized.

" It takes you 30 minutes to do that?" Yakko answered.

[Scene 2 Take 4]

The Warners showed up in the next shot giggling as they took out small nuggets on the other side of the hill.

"Oh, this is a good one" Dot chirped happily.

"Kinda tiny," said Yakko as he held one out for Wakko to see. He placed it in his hand.

" Go put it …" His sentence was interrupted by Wakko swallowing the thing whole.

"Deelicous!" he said happily.

"Cut! Wakko, don't eat the props!" the director called out.

"But I'm hungry!"

[Scene 2 Take 5]

"Go put it with the…" This time, Wakko didn't eat the nugget, instead, he saved that for a muffin he pulled out of his hat.

"Cut!"

"What? this muffin isn't a prop, it's my breakfast!" A loud groan from the director could be heard as he finished it off.

[Scene 2 Take 8]

"Go put…" Wakko ate it again.

"Wakko!"

"Wakko that was real gold!" Yakko exclaimed.

"Gee, it tastes just like Pixie sticks" Wakko replied before sticking out his glittering gold tongue. His younger sister simply facepalmed at this.

[Scene 2 Take 13]

"Go put it with the others" Wakko, after nine takes, finally did the correct action by casually tossing it aside into a wheelbarrow filled with gold. Unfortunately, this also caused it to start rolling away.

"Oh no! runaway cart!" Dot yelled. The director shrieked as he began to run away, the cart was heading right towards him. He was a moment too late as the pile of gold toppled over him.

"Cut…" he responded weakly. A few hours later, everything was put back in place along with a few rocks placed in front of the wheelbarrow to keep it from moving.

[Scene 2 Take 14]

This time around, Wakko opened his mouth but then he immediately remembered to toss the nugget into the now stationary wheelbarrow. The next shot cut back to Jake looking over from behind the rocks.

"Gold. They's found gold." Jake said while scratching his beard.

"Cut! Jake; the beard." the director answered slightly annoyed.

"Oh, sorry"

"It's fine, and be a little more energetic this time around"

[Scene 2 Take 15]

Gold! They's found gold!" Jake gasped without scratching his beard. The camera zoomed in on his envious face as money bags appeared within his eyes.

"Excellent! Nice bit with the eyes Jake. Moving on!" Up next, the Warners were picking at the side of the cliff while Jake off in a distance, ran down the hill and right towards the trio. His feet screeched to a halt right next to them.

"What, you actually thought he'd slide right into the camera?" Yakko said aloud before he realized he just screwed up the scene. Both Jake and Dot glared at him.

Cut!" the director slapped his hand on his face. "No, but I thought you would say your correct line!"

[Scene 2 Take 16]

This part of the scene was repeated again with Jake stopping before he waved a friendly hello to the Warners.

"How do there cute little children?" he greeted happily. He snickered wheezily to himself in order to show that his character was about to pull a fast one over Warners.

"Oh Look! A…" Yakko began to say before he and his other siblings burst into a fit of laughter.

"What are you doing? Stop Laughing!"

"Well stop doing your hilarious impression of Muttley !" he laughed.

[Scene 2 Take 20]

"How do there cute little children?" This time Yakko ignores his snickering.

"Oh, look an old miner, AKA possible special friend" he answered completely ignoring the director's word.

[Scene 2 Take 21]

"…It's Mr. tall dark haired and chubby"

[Scene 2 Take 25]

"…Look, it's the love child of Yosemite Sam and Bluto!"

Hey!" Jake responded in offense.

"Cut! Yakko could you please stop ad-libbing and stick to the script? You're slowing things down." the director complained.

"Compared to what's on the script, I think what I'm doing is an improvement." Yakko retorted.

"Yakko…"

"Just kidding!"

[Scene 2 Take 26]

"... Look, a crotchety old miner" said Yakko, finally moving the scene forward.

"You know I couldn't help but hear that you're looking for big chunks of gold" Jake answered innocently.

"You know where we can find any?" asked Wakko.

"Cut! Alright Wakko, your head camera ready?" the director interrupted the scene for a moment. Wakko nodded and lifted up his hat to reveal a large hand-held camera underneath.

"Good, and action!" Up next was an extreme close up shot that came directly from Wakko's camera.

"As a matter of fact, I does," Jake responded as he leaned into the camera, giving a devilish smile. This was a little too close for Wakko, he made his signature gookie face and fell on his back.

"Wakko are you all right?" a concerned Dot asked.

"Yuck, you've got bad breath!" he croaked disgustedly as he sat up.

"Ain't my fault, the director said it would be more authentic to real miners" Jake explained with his arms crossed. After a few minutes of getting Wakko back on his feet, they resumed shooting.

"There's big chunks of gold where I was digging..." Jake explained while pointing over to the spot where he was earlier.

As soon as he said that, a large explosion happened, catching everyone off guard.

"What the hell?!" both Jake and the director shouted in unison.

"And there goes the first swear on this set," Yakko said slyly.

Sorry!" A female voice called out from a distance, who the Warners instantly recognized as Slappy Squirrel's.

"Just getting rid of some leftover props from my last short, Frontier Slappy!"

[Scene 2 Take 27]

"…I'll trade places with you okay?"

"Gee Thanks" Yakko chirped happily. All three of the Warners put on gas masks just before they climbed upon Jake and kissed him.

"Cut!" the director barked.

"But Wakko wasn't kidding when he said his breath smells" Dot whined.

"Don't care, lose the masks!" The trio groaned as they began to redo the scene.

[Scene 2 Take 28]

This time the Warners did the kiss correctly without using the gas masks. The weight of all three of the siblings caused Jake to topple over. They ran over to the wheelbarrow and whisked it away. They barely made it a few feet before the tower of gold fell right on top of them. The trio's heads popped out of the gold seemingly unharmed but very peeved at Jake, who still on the ground, was laughing at them.

[Scene 2 Take 30]

After a few failed takes, the entire part of the scene finally played out as intended. After kissing Jake, the Warners took the wheelbarrow and whisked it over to the other side of the hill.

"Dumb kids, they fell for it." Jake gloated. "Oh, I'm a smarty, a Ow!" A falling rock that landed square on his head interrupted his line. A large lump appeared on top of his head.

"More like you've got a smarty!" Wakko joked off-screen. Both Jake and Wakko's siblings groaned at his corny joke.

[Scene 2 Take 31]

"…Oh, I'm a smarty, a rich old smarty" Jake recited his correct line before he began to pick at the side of the hill.

"Yay!" The trio cheered off-screen. A new shot revealed that they had found larger pieces of gold at the spot where he was.

"That's a pretty one!" Dot chirped excitedly. The Warners struggled to hold their prop gold nuggets, which were still just as heavy as real ones.

"N-now that's a gold nug…!" Yakko could barely finish his line as he and the others collapsed under the weight of the nuggets.

Cut!" the directed sighed.

"Get some invisible wires on those things."

[Scene 2 Take 32]

"Now that's a gold nugget!" Yakko said while holding one of the now-suspended gold nuggets.

"Wait, Stop!" Dot dropped her hands and left her nugget floating in the air.

"What is it?"

"My skirts all dusty, I gotta change out" she complained as she ran off.

"Oh god, Dot get back here!" the director hung his head back in annoyance.

"Prima Donna." Yakko said flatly as Dot spent the next 30 minutes making herself decent.

[Scene 2 Take 33]

This time around the scene played out as intended with all three of them holding up their gold nuggets. The next shot cut back to a dumbfounded Jake who was scratching his beard.

"Jake, stop scratching it!" the director growled irritably.

[Scene 2 Take 34]

Jake did the correct motion as he dropped the pickaxe in his hand before facepalming, causing his bushy beard to bounce into his face. He let out a frustrated growl and ran back towards the other side of the hill. The Warners were tossing their golden payload into the wheel when Jake stood right in front of them.

"Now wait just a god damn minute…!" He immediately clamped his mouth after realizing his slip up. Wakko keeled over laughing while a shocked Dot grabbed Jake's tongue and rubbed it with a bar of soap.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Fowlmouth's legal guardian!" Yakko proudly announced. Another loud groan from the director came out as he realized this scene was taking longer than expected.

"Oh my god, Cut!

[Scene 2 Take 35]

"Now wait just a…" This time Jake cut himself off as he noticed soap bubbles coming out of his mouth.

[Scene 2 Take 36]

"Now wait just a dag burned minute! I'm taking all this gold here for me." Jake finished his line, minus the soap bubbles. He grabbed the Warners and carried them over to the edge of the mountain.

At the same time, the director murmured "Get the bird ready" to one of the crew members. The camera bird used for the aerial shot earlier hovered directly above them.

"Now get off this mountain and don't come back" With a swift chuck, he tossed all three of them off the mountain. The above ground shot from the bird came quickly afterwards.

"Whoa!" All the Warners screamed as they fell down… and quickly came right back up, so quick they actually collided with the bird, showering Jake with feathers.

"Cut! What are you doing?!" the director asked angrily.

"Sorry, but we just couldn't resist a bungee jump opportunity," Wakko confessed while and his siblings showed off their coiled up tails.

" _Follow the script_! When you go down, stay down!"

Yakko blew a kiss after his statement.

"Goodnight everybody!" he joked while Wakko giggled.

"Boys..." Dot commented on her brother's immaturity.

[Scene 2 Take 37]

This time the Warners repeated their part correctly. They fell down the mountain and splashed into a river below. At the bottom of the mountain, the trio appeared soaking wet in the water.

"Of course you realize this means Warners!" Yakko yelled while shaking a fist.

"Yakko, no ad-libs!" the director demanded.

[Scene 2 Take 38]

Wakko looked down at his soaked clothes and lifted up his ascot.

My ascot!" said Wakko.

"Your  _as-_ cot wet?" Yakko asked suggestively.

"Yeah, it did" Wakko answered as he rubbed his behind. Dot immediately went wide-eyed at the slight double entendre her brothers made.

"So many pottymouth's today!" She complained as she grabbed both of her brothers tongues in one hand, and a bar of soap in another.

[Scene 2 Take 39]

"Watch this!" Wakko stuck his head in the water creating thousands of bubbles. Behind the camera, the director banged his head on a nearby speaker.

[Scene 2 Take 40]

"I think we just met today's special friend," said Yakko, finishing the scene.

"Alright, that's it for today. I need a drink" the director sulked off tiredly.

"Hey, you guys alright down there?" Jake shouted from the top of the mountain.

"Sure! We're fine" Wakko responded back.

"It's not every day we let our antagonist try to kill us off" Dot added innocently.

"It's okay, wait till he sees what he's in for tomorrow." said Yakko with a playful smile.

Later on that evening, everyone retired to their trailers for the night. The Warners slept in a large yellow and red steel trailer, similar to the color scheme to their water tower. Each sibling had their own bed to sleep in. They all went to bed feeling that tomorrow would run a bit smoother than today. However, fate had other plans the next day.


	2. Rewrites, Redo's, Remakes and Retakes

 

Day 2:

[Scene 3 Take 1]

The first shot of this scene opened with a fade in of Jake huffing laboriously.

"Ooh-wee its hot" Jake panted as he held up a thermometer on the side of the mountain. He actually wasn't kidding. It was already in the middle of the day and the temperature had indeed reached 105 degrees.

"Lemonade, get your ice-cold lemonade!" Dot called from off-screen. The excited Jake ran towards a smiling Dot who was holding a tray of lemonade. She was out of her brown buckskin outfit and back in her regular clothes.

Cut!" yelled the director, who happened to be overlooking the filming from a nearby cliff.

"Dot, why aren't you in costume?"

"Are you kidding?! It's 105 degrees out here! Sorry but the old lady look is so not me"

"But remember what we talked about earlier yesterday its…"

"Gotta be authentic, I know I know" she responded unhappily before sulking off to find her correct outfit; and took 30 minutes to get ready.

[Scene 3 Take 2]

Jake ran into shot again, this time Dot was in a pink gown complete with a doily and head bonnet. She was sweating so much that the gown was starting to get wet and her makeup was starting to sweat off. Dot stopped smiling when she noticed dark streaks running down her face. She clamped her hand over Jake's mouth before he could say his line. Behind the camera, her brothers were giggling at how ridiculous she looked.

"Gah, stop everything! Makeup!" she quickly ran off set again.

"Dot come back! Oh this not what I need today!" The director complained as Jake crossed his arms impatiently. It was forty-five minutes until Dot felt she was decent enough to redo the scene.

[Scene 3 Take 3]

This time the scene started off as planned.

"Ooh let me have one of those little lady," Jake said, finally moving the scene forward.

"That'll be one gold nugget please." Dot stated.

"A gold nugget?! That's steep."

No, it's expensive. That's steep." Dot pointed to a ledge right behind his feet. It was 200-foot drop down to the bottom.

"Whoa, no you don't!" Jake fearfully jumped back and ran behind Dot.

"What's wrong now?" the director groaned.

"The script called for stumbling over a small cliff. That's a damn huge one!"Jake protested.

"Sure cause, you would have been  _so_  willing if I told you how big it was." the director replied sarcastically. Dot grabbed Jake's hand.

"Come on it's not so bad, we did it yesterday and were just fine" she pleaded sweetly. "And if I have to sweat in this hot dress for another minute then you've got another thing coming!" she added with slight annoyance.

"Nope, you ain't making me get back in that spot" the co-star replied defiantly.

"Ah oh okay, but if you're not going to listen to reason…" Dot didn't even finish her sentence as she swiftly whacked the tray of lemonade on top of Jake's head, causing him to wobble dizzily towards the edge. The ground beneath him began to crumble.

"Get those camera's rolling!" she shrieked.

"Wha- happened,?" he asked groggily.

"This happened, action!" the director snapped back.

[Scene 3 Take 4]

The cameras came on just in time as the ground quickly gave away, taking the genuinely surprised Jake along with it. Jake screamed as he fell down the side of the mountain before landing on a smaller cliff halfway down. This was the same cliff where the Warmers brothers would hold out a large net to catch him. unfortunately, they weren't, as the next shot was a panting Jake sitting on the spot where they should've been standing.

"What the..?! Where's Yakko and Wakko?!" The director yelled out.

"Uh… look" one of his assistants pointed out. The brothers' heads squeezed out from underneath Jake's behind.

"Ooh, sorry about that," Jake replied embarrassed.

"Oh its fine, me and my brothers always wanted to be safety cushions" Yakko uttered sarcastically.

"We did?" Wakko asked, totally confused.

"Alright let's just shoot that part again, Wakko get your pin ready." the director sighed.

"Wait get the what?!" Jake asked just before he felt the sharp prick of a pin his behind. Jake sprang up into the air as he yelped in pain. This gave the Warners enough time to get back on their feet and hold the net out.

"And Action!"

[Scene 3 Take 5]

The Warner Brothers, dressed up in blue firefighter uniforms, managed to catch Jake before he fell down the mountain. Jake's hands tightly clung to the edge of the net as his entire body shuddered with fear. He gave a sigh of relief before striking a wild glare at them.

"What did you do that for?!"

"It's a time-saving tactic, would you rather go all the way up to the  _top_  and fall off again?" Yakko answered. Jake looked up at the very top of the mountain before he nervously shook his head in response.

"Come on, consider this a trust exercise. I promise we will not let you drop down and hit the ground." Yakko declared while he and his brother raised their right hands. The man seemed comforted by this information.

"Good, cause we're going to have to do this part again!" The director spat.

"Oh no!" Jake groaned as Wakko pulled the pin back out.

[Scene 3 Take 6]

This portion of the scene was repeated with Jake falling into the net again. Jake sighed in relief before turning to the Warners.

"Thanks, boys" Jake answered.

"Whoa Nellie! Looks like we caught ourselves a whopper!"

"Cut! Yakko I said no ad-libs!" The director yelled frustrated.

"Eh, good habits die hard" Yakko shrugged.

[Scene 3 Take 8]

"Thanks…" A splurge of purple jelly oozing all over him and Yakko cut him off. Both groaned in disgust.

"Wakko! No eating on the set!" the director yelled at the middle sibling who had taken an unfortunate bite out of what was supposed to be his morning breakfast; a jelly filled donut in his right hand.

"Darn it! I'll clean you guys up!" Wakko uttered before his tongue grew three sizes larger. In one swift slurp, he cleaned off both his brother and the co-star.

"Thanks…" Jake grumbled; his voice dripping with more sarcasm than the drool on his clothes.

"I'm starting to think we really are related to dogs" Yakko retorted grumpily while wiping his face. The director simply facepalmed at this display.

[Scene 3 Take 11]

"…Whoa ho! Looks like we got heavy cargo on board!" Yakko joked just before Jake flicked his helmet off.

[Scene 3 Take 13]

Jake began to repeat his line but was a little too preoccupied with scratching his now itchy and sticky beard.

"Come on. Stop scratching your beard!" the director complained angrily. The co-star put his hands away and chuckled sheepishly.

[Scene 3 Take 15]

This time Wakko and Yakko accidentally held the net slightly off-center, causing Jake to land right on the edge of the net. He frantically managed to grab the bottom of the net with one hand while rubbing his behind with the other one. The repeated pin stabs after each take were starting to make his bottom sore. It was also getting harder for the Warners to hold him up.

"Whoops, sorry bout that" Wakko apologized. Meanwhile, Dot was looking down from the top of the ledge cracking up at the myriad of mistakes going on below.

[Scene 3 Take 16]

After several misfires, the rest of the scene goes off as expected.

"Thanks, Boys" Jake sighed in relief as he wiped his head.

"Rescue Service, That'll be one gold nugget," Yakko said as he held out a contract.

"One gold nugget?! That's ridiculous I won't pay!" Jake grumbled before he took the contract from them and tore it up.

"Okay" was the eldest siblings response as he and his brother dumped the man out of the net.

"Whoa! Okay, I'll pay! I'll pay!" Jake yelled out. An aerial shot from above followed him all the way to the bottom.

He was netted again by the Warners just before he fell on a patch of cacti. Yakko held out his hand expecting the payment. Jake reluctantly handed over one gold nugget before crossing his arms. The brothers tipped their hats before running off-screen, leaving the net suspended in the air. Jake realized this too late as the net gave way, causing him to get himself pricked one more time. He let out a scream and jumped into the air. Completely ticked off, Jake growled in anger as he ran off after them.

"And Cut! Perfect!" The director clapped his hands in satisfaction.

"That's the best take that's happened today! Now…" the sight of Jake who was in the middle of an unscripted chase with the Warners interrupted his train of thought

"You said you wouldn't let me fall and hit the ground!" he yelled angrily as he tossed a piece of cacti at them.

"We didn't let you fall! The net did!" Wakko retorted.

"You can trust us! But you can never trust cartoon physics!" Yakko laughed. Dot appeared next to the befuddled director while shaking her head.

"Boys, no self-control. I'll go get em" she stated before following after them. The group ran away from the mountain and headed right towards the next set, a river next to an old mill known as "Stutter's Mill"

"I'll be so glad once this short is done" the man muttered as he rubbed his eyes.

"Alright Get those cameras down there and rolling!" As soon as he said that, a small crew of cameramen was already following after the group at the set.

"If this scene goes off in a few takes we'll be back on schedule. And… Action!"

[Scene 4 Take 1]

The scene started off in the middle of a dusty pathway, Jake and the Warner brothers came into the shot. Yakko and Wakko nimbly hopped on the rotating wheel of the mill. Jake did the same as he furiously scampered up to the top of it. The three of them nimbly hopped over the wheel's wooden grooves. Meanwhile, at the bottom of the mill, Dot was filling up several buckets of prop gold kicked up from the wheel.

"Keep it coming guys, we might have to enough to buy the whole city!" she called up to them.

"Ha! Think you can out roll me? I happen to be an expert log roller!" the miner jeered as he gained closer on them.

" So what? Were expert wheel rollers!" Yakko replied snappily as he and his brother picked up the pace. Suddenly the wheel began to rotate faster.

"Pick it up a bit! I want that thing to really spin!" the director commanded excitedly as the brothers complied to his demand. They effortlessly ran across the wheel while their panting pursuer was falling further behind.

"Come on! Faster!"

This time the wheel spun even faster than before. The Warners brothers feet dissipated in a locomotive blur as Jake could barely keep up. Finally, with a loud yelp, he stumbled underneath his feet and fell backward before being flattened out against the surface of the rapidly spinning wheel. The scene was actually turning out perfect… until the director noticed the stationary wheel was starting to wobble out-of-place. A large bolt that was holding it together popped off.

"No no no! Too fast! Too fast!" He yelled as he frantically waved his arms.

Dot who was still at the bottom of the mill, backed away from the wheel as it was kicking up a large spray of muddy water.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" she shrieked angrily, the mud was tainting her outfit. Jake fell out from underneath the wheel and landed right on top of her. She strained to poke her head from underneath Jake's mud-covered body. "I'm getting too cute for this crap! Makeup!"

"Stop the wheel!" the director yelled again.

"We can't stop!" the brothers replied frantically. The enormous wheel suddenly came loose and started rolling away from the mill. Everyone dodged out-of-the-way as the runaway wheel rolled over anything in its path, cameras, set pieces, and a few unlucky crew members (nonlethal of course). The wheel collided into a large rock, launching the Warners into the air.

Meanwhile in the middle of a large open field, Jake had his arms stretched out wide preparing to catch them. Yakko and Wakko plopped right into the miner's hands. Dot suddenly appeared from underneath his hat holding two scorecards labeled with the number nine.

"Little rough around the edges, but you two stuck that landing!" she answered.

"Let's do that again!" Wakko chirped excitedly. Yakko with a half-smile on his face glanced at the destruction he and his brother caused.

"Well, Ah… this could have gone worse" he spoke optimistically. As if on cue, a crack of thunder followed by a sudden downpour gave its response. The group's content faces disappeared instantly as the field they stood in began to flood.

"At least it isn't hot anymore" Jake uttered dejectedly.

"Uh guys…" the director sighed laboriously as the water was slowly rising to knee-length. Several other crew members were quickly packing up and running for cover, others were assessing the damage.

"What do you say we just cut this scene altogether and forget about it?"

They all looked at each other before replying without protest, "Sure"

Due to the intense flooding that day, filming had to be delayed for 3 days. The assistant director busily occupied himself with the entire crew, making sure the damages from the runaway mill wheel incident were cleaned up in time for the next scenes. In the meantime, the Warners lazily kept themselves occupied as they holed up inside their large steel trailer. Since Jake's trailer was crushed by the wheel, he had to share Wakko's bed, much to his displeasure. After eating half the food, Wakko was banned from the refreshments table until he could control his appetite. Dot had to settle reading magazines since the cosmetic lady was still recovering from being run over by the wheel from the other day. Yakko busied himself by reading what was left of what he considered a substandard script. Finally, everything had cleared up for shooting again. This quick shooting session suddenly didn't seem so quick anymore.

Day 5:

Yakko and Dot looked around for their brother who disappeared from their trailer earlier that morning. They spotted the director to see if he knew where he was.

"Hey, have you seen Wakko?" asked Yakko.

"Oh he volunteered to fill in for the laundryman that _you_  ran over the other day," he answered bitterly. He was clearly not in a good mood.

"Sounds like someone's a bit cranky today" Yakko stated teasingly.

"Wait, did you say Wakko's doing the  _laundry_? Uh-oh…" Dot spoke up concerned.

"Wakko!" A familiar voice roared. The Warner in question ran towards and cowered behind them. A moment later, a fuming Jake caught up to the trio. The other two burst out laughing as they saw his outfit had shrunken down three times, exposing his bare calves and belly.

"What the hell happened?!" the director exclaimed in astonishment.

"I sorta left his clothes soaking in the wash too long." Wakko guiltily explained as he hid underneath his red hat. Sure enough, a few other crew members passed by, also wearing clothes that happened to be 3 sizes too small for them. The director rubbed the brim of his nose in frustration.

"What am I suppose to do now?! This was my only outfit!" Jake complained angrily.

"Don't worry we'll just fix them with the old Warner SS technique" Yakko spoke reassuringly.

"S for squash" Dot took out her mallet and flattened Jake like a pancake.

"And S for stretch" he and Dot grabbed hold of his arms an legs and pulled on him like taffy until he snapped back into place. His clothes had successfully returned to their normal size. The co-star staggered dizzily as his arms and legs wiggled like noodles.

"All better?" both asked in unison.

"Uh, Thanks" he replied woozily.

"Alright, let's get this done! We only have one more day on this site!" The director interrupted through his megaphone. His amplified voice caught everyone off guard. Once he got their attention he put it away.

"We are behind schedule as is! So listen to me good cause I'm only going to say this once! Until we are done…" he pointed a long accusatory finger at Wakko.

"No eating the props!" he dragged his finger towards Dot.

"No running off set!" he stuck it right at Jake's beard, who had quickly stop scratching it.

"No scratching your damn beard!" he leaned closely at Yakko who did not look the least bit intimidated.

"And no, no ad-libs! Understand?" The four of them nodded in unison.

"Good"

[Scene 5 now 4 Take 1]

The scene started off with Jake searching for the Warner Brothers at one end of a wooden bridge.

"Yoo-hoo! Mr cranky claim jumper!" both brothers called out to him. The camera panned up to show them standing near the middle of the bridge in cowboy outfits. They quickly zipped off-screen with Jake not far behind them. As both of them crossed the bridge, they nearly slipped up and fell down on the other side.

"Cut!"

[Scene 4 Take 2]

They crossed the bridge again… and instantly fell through a few broken floorboards, splashing into a stream several feet below.

"Cut!"

[Scene 4 Take 3]

This time, the Warners cross the bridge without error. As Jake made it to the other side, he looked around for the Warners…

He looked up to see them back on the other side of the bridge. Jake grumbled and furiously ran back to the other side. This part was intended to go on for a few more times with Jake and the Warners simply going back and forth on the bridge.

A thunderous belch disrupted the entire scene, instantly shattering all camera lenses within 10 feet. The force of the belch also ruptured the structure of the bridge, sending it crashing down the stream.

" Cut! Alright, let's just head over to the next bridge" the director commanded irritably.

"This the last time I let you drink Red Bull before we film," Yakko stated sharply.

"Sorry" Wakko apologized. Within minutes, the camera crew relocated over to another wooden bridge that happened to be half a mile away.

"And, Action!"

[Scene 4 Take 4]

In the next shot, the Warners looked back while outrunning their pursuer. Both were immediately stopped in their tracks by a large toll bridge gate slamming down on their heads.

"Oops!" Dot exclaims as she poked her head out the booth. Jake who was unable to stop himself, tripped over the gate and toppled right on top of Yakko and Wakko.

"Whoa whoa! Cut! That's not supposed to be in the script!" the director yelled.

"Well I say it's a definite improvement" Dot responded as Jake peeled the flattened Warner brothers off his chest.

"No, it's not! I don't even think there were toll bridges in 1848! Get rid of it Dottie!" Dot simply blinked for a few moments before letting out a bright smile. Both Yakko and Wakko went wide-eyed as they knew the director just crossed a line.

"Uh, why don't you come up here so we can discuss this like civilized people?" she asked politely. The director thought nothing of it when he hastily stormed over to the booth. He barely noticed the gate was between his legs.

"Sure, But I only got one thing to say…!" he began to rant. Dot's response was raising the gate with a swift yank of the lever. Jake and the other Warners winced at the loud whack that followed.

"Damn" Jake muttered.

"Alright… you made your point. It stays" the director croaked painfully as he limped off the bridge.

"It's hard being the negotiator of the group," she said sweetly.

"Oh sure your additions are fine but mine aren't" Yakko added grumpily.

[Scene 4 take 4]

After a few minutes of rewrites, the scene resumed with Wakko and Yakko running across the bridge with Jake not far behind them. This time the gate slammed down on his head.

"Toll bridge, that'll be 5 gold nuggets please," said Dot as she held out her hand to receive payment. The miner unhappily complied and handed her a few nuggets.

"Thank you! Have a pleasant stay" She let the gate up allowing him to pass. Finally on the other side of the bridge, Jake looked around for the Warners. A brief whistle grabbed his attention as he looked up to find them coolly resting back on the other side where he just came. He let out a frustrated growl and ran back on the bridge. The gate hit him again.

"6 gold nuggets please" Dot answered innocently. The miner grumbled before giving her a few more nuggets. Dot raised the gate again, allowing him to pass.

"It's a running gag" she added while waving her hand. Meanwhile, the director overlooked the revised scene behind the camera.

"Huh, that bit actually turned out alright" he stated contentedly.

"Hey mister, we know how you can get to the gold inside the mountain" Yakko spoke up as Jake made it back to their side.

"You do?" Jake asked.

"Of course _I_  do. Now shut up and kiss me!" Yakko suddenly had on a bridesmaid gown and planted a kiss on Jake's lips. The shocked director threw down his cap in anger.

"Alright What the f…?! Cut! Yakko!" his screech of anger nearly deafened a nearby cameraman.

"Sorry, I thought you took back the no ad lib rule when you let Dot do it" Yakko responded.

"That was a scene revision genius" Dot cut in.

"Come on! Let me change-up just one little part in this stupid script! Just one!" Yakko pleaded.

"The answer is still no!" the director negated. Yakko simply threw up his hands in response.

"Alright, I hear ya, no more ad libs for the rest of this scene."

Thank you." the man replied softly.

"So is next scene fair game then?" Yakko asked defiantly.

The director's faced turned red, his eyes twitched uncontrollably. Wakko placed hands over his mouth in shock while Dot simply shook her head at the deep hole her older brother just dug himself into.

"You know what… there is a way you can change up this scene …" he spoke unusually calm. He quietly sauntered over to the refreshments table and picked up a sticky peanut butter muffin. At this point he no longer cared about changing things up, his initial plans had been compromised enough already.

"Really?" Yakko was genuinely surprised.

"Sure, you can start… by clamming up for the rest of the scene!" He angrily charged at him, wielding the muffin in his hand.

"Yikes!" Yakko yelped as he dodged out-of-the-way.

"Run Yakko run!" Dot yelled as the director chased him across the set.

After a few disruptive minutes, the rest of the scene went on as planned, this time with Wakko having to say the rest of Yakko's lines. Yakko continued to grin slyly, not letting on that his mouth was temporarily glued shut by the peanut butter inside his mouth.

[Scene 4 Take 3]

"...You do?" Jake asked.

Wakko accidentally held up two churros he swiped from the refreshments table, he quickly realized his mistake before putting them away.

[Scene 4 Take 4]

Wakko did the correct action by taking out two sticks of dynamite from his pocket.

"Dynamite!" he replied.

"Wait a minute, how much?" The miner asked suspiciously.

Uh…" Wakko pondered. He had forgotten his lines.

"Cut! Someone break out the cue cards." the director said aloud.

[Scene 4 Take 6]

"...how much?" A crew member carrying cue cards held up Wakko's next line.

"Free" Wakko answered.

"I'll take all of it" Wakko handed hundreds of dynamite sticks. He walked off with them while Warners just stood there.

"You're line..." the director whispered harshly. Wakko squinted his eyes as he tried to read the next one. He walked closer to get a better view.

"What does that say…? Oh, I see it! Would you like some fuses?"

"Cut!" the director slapped his hand. This time the cue card guy came closer so Wakko could see.

[Scene 4 Take 9]

"Would you like some fuses?" said Wakko. This bit of news stopped Jake dead in his tracks.

"What no fuses?!" he exclaimed in surprise.

"They only cost 10 gold nuggets," Wakko said persuasively as he held out the fuses.

"But that's all I got left" Jake complained. He reluctantly changed his mind and put down the pile of dynamite. "Oh alright, cause once I've blow'd that mountain all the gold will be mine"

So long suckers." he laughed evilly as he hauled off his explosive cargo.

Yakko held up a sign that said "look who's talking"

"Screw it, well fix that in the editing" the director uttered completely frustrated.

"Great job Wakko, let's get this last scene done"

[Scene 5 Take 1]

Several sticks and barrels of dynamite crowded around a fake mountain at the start of this final scene. Jake appeared at the bottom of the mountain, laughing deviously as he lit a long strand of a fuse. Since real explosives were being used, all the other crew members stood back at least half a mile from the mountain.

"That oughta do it, look out gold here I come!" he gloated just before he ducked for cover behind a large pile of rocks. But after several seconds, he realized nothing happened.

"Huh?"

"Cut! Let's try that again..." the director barked.

[Scene 5 Take 2]

"...look out gold here I come!" This time he tried lighting it again before ducking back behind the rocks. This time it worked, actually it worked too well, as the explosion not only blew up the mountain but also Jake's cover. When the dust cleared, the miner staggered dizzily covered in soot.

"Watch that first step... it's a doozy" Jake slurred before falling into the massive crater.

The director wondered what happened as Dot handed him two sticks of the dynamite used. He read the label on one of them:

_Slappy Squirrel's Slap Happy Dynamite: Warning 10 times more powerful than normal dynamite._

"In hindsight, maybe using her leftover dynamite wasn't such a good idea" she commented as a matter of fact.

[Scene 5 Take 3]

After a few hours of setting everything back up, the scene is given one more go. The explosion goes off successfully with just regular dynamite. Jake looked up completely ecstatic to see the shining bright gold nugget that laid before him.

"I's rich! I's rich! Gold! Gold! Gold!" the miner shouted triumphantly. Off to the far right of the demolished mountain, a crowd of miners overheard him and immediately rushed over to collect their share. It wasn't until he stopped dancing and looked at the crater when he realized his gold had vanished.

"My gold's all gone!" Jake bawled pitifully. The Warner trio appeared next to him as they gazed down the crater.

"Well buy the land from ya for a gold nugget" said Yakko, who finally cleared out peanut butter in his mouth. Jake laughed as he snatched the gold nugget out of Yakko's hands.

"Ha ha! I can't believe it, the lands worthless! Cant, you see the gold's all gone?"

"That's okay, we just wanted the oil."

"Oil?"

Suddenly a large geyser of oil ruptured from the ground and spurt into the air. The stunned miner froze in shock and fainted, falling on his back.

[Scene 5 Take 4]

For a final shot, the Warner trio shrugged innocently as they gave great big smiles for the camera, their mouth's completely covered with gold. The shining metal created a blinding gold glare that ruined the shot.

" Cut! I don't even care, we're almost done" the director answered contently.

[Scene 5 Take 5]

All three flashed a single gold tooth in their grinning mouths.

"And… Cut and Print! Finally, that's a wrap everyone!" the director announced relived. Everyone on set cheered at this news.

"Ooh yes, cause I've got a date with a razor" the costar happily rubbed his beard. Wakko held out his hand.

"Thanks for working with us this week Jerry, you weren't bad" he thanked him, addressing him by his real name.

"No prob, y'all weren't bad yourselves" Jerry replied politely as he shook his hand.

"Do you know what this means? We can finally leave this heck hole!' Dot cheered ecstatically.

"And best of all nothing else went wrong!" Yakko stated proudly.

A bit of commotion grabbed the Warner's attention as they noticed the director in serious conversation with a few of the crew members.

"... That temporary oil line we installed, turns out we hit another one too." one of the crew members explained.

"Wait, what do mean we hit another one? That was raw sewage?!" The director exclaimed horrified. Suddenly the smell went completely rotten as everyone groaned in disgust. The geyser went up even higher and started to splatter all over Jerry and the Warners. Both Wakko and Dot glared at Yakko.

"Remind me to remove that saying from my vocabulary" he uttered flatly.

"Gah! This is worst than Wakko at chili night!" Dot whined as she held her nose.

"What are we supposed to do?" Wakko asked aloud

"What do ya think? Get the hell out of here!" Jerry yelled as he ran off. Everyone quickly packed up to avoid the vile substance.

"Yikes" All three of them shrieked as the sewage began to splatter the entire set.

"Oh man! the guys back at the studio are going to be pissed when they find out about this!" The director worried as he climbed onto a bus.

Long story short, "Gold Rush" was officially finished after a few bits of editing and tweaking here and there, and released in February 1994. The assistant director was able to keep his job after a bout of explaining and pleading to Spielberg and Mr. Plotz. When the authorities found out about the pandemonium that went down in the park, they fined the studio for property damages and banned it from being able to set foot on the park. It was the best news the Warners heard in the entire time, or least until they found out their next episode would involve a 10-hour flight to Germany.


End file.
